love across the centuries

You: heyya

Stranger: i go big on the weekend!

Stranger: i go t-rex!

You: i go....little?

You: ant?

Stranger: really?

You: always.

Stranger: hector?

Stranger: hello??

You: achilles??

Stranger: false..

You: ummm

Stranger: m or f?

You: Patroclus?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

happy goddamn new year

You: happy new yeeear

Stranger: Happy New year!

You: Any resolutions?

Stranger: I think that I have resolved to not make any resolutions

Stranger: You?

You: Nah, I always forget them within 20 minutes anyway

Stranger: heh

You: I mean you make them when you're drunk. Which is such a stupid idea.

You: THIS YEAR

You: IMMA GONNA BE A UNICORN

You: WITH LIKE WINGS

You: ON A DIET.

Stranger: Lol

Stranger: Thats a great resolution

You: I sure hope so.

You: Remind me in 20 minutes.

Stranger: haha

Connection asploded.

it's those 3d boobies, man

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: heyya

Stranger: %)

You: tell me something strange about yourself

Stranger: Oh shit!! My eyes!!

You: SORRY.

Stranger: Look at my god damn eyes!

You: i will be more careful with the hydrochloric acid next time

Stranger: Oh god, it hurts...

Stranger: #)

Stranger: Aww man!! What the hell is that?!

You: .....it's stoneground mustard.

You: sorry.

Stranger: Fuck...I knew it

Stranger: This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for those avatars...

You: But the glowing blue boobies! They were irresistible!

Stranger: I saw that movie in 3d, now look what's happened!

You: booby. right to the mouth. fucking 3D.

Stranger: Shit bob fuck saget!

You: Batman!

Stranger: Damn you!!

You: And your pesky dog too!

Stranger: FICK!!! You know my weakness

You: I know ALL your weaknesses. *eyebroweyebrow*

Stranger: How'd you know I have no eyebrows?!?!

You: Sorry. My fault. No more lighters.

Stranger: Well, my drugs are about to wear off. See you tomorrow

You: till then, captain!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

fred guest stars as you

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: heyya

Stranger: olla

You: tell me something weird about yourself

Stranger: hmm

Stranger: what can I say...

Stranger: what do you want?

You: anything

Stranger: is there anything weird about you?

You: pandas

You: taste like chicken

You: or so i hear

You: ya know i once had a dream

You: that i fell off a cliff wearing a superman costume

You: coulda sworn i would fly

You: then i realized that taking LSD is a bad idea

You: say no to drugs little one

You: say no.

Stranger: okey no:)

Stranger: are you good

Stranger: are you okey

You: at sleeping?

You: yes.

You: yes i am.

You: i one time won the macon county fair for sleeping

You: i got several thoasand trophies and phone numberfrom a very curvy women named Gladus

You: i called her tonight

You: only to find out that the number belong to a very pissed off black man named Ladanian

You: i found it a tad sterotypical that his name was such

You: i informed of this thought of mine

You: didnt end well.

Stranger: you are speaking so slang

Stranger: I cannot understnad

Stranger: please talk clearrly

You: where are you from?

You: i come from the planet Blarg

You: its right next the planet Smerglefuck

Stranger: you are not good

You: you are not a pancake

You: I'd watch myself if i wasnt a pancake

You: and then eat myself

You: with an egg

You: scrambled.

You: mmmmmmmm

Stranger: ya bi siktir gt ya

Stranger: kafan mı ii olm

Stranger: kaç tane içtin hacı

Stranger: ya da çektin mi demeliyim

You: ICH BIN EIN BERLINER

Stranger: ii bok yedin aferin sana

Stranger: sizin ülkede bi svjetlana varmş

You: i'll have number one with some Mei fun

Stranger: bayaa orospu diolar kendisi için

You: extra spicy

You: with a spring roll

You: NOT AN EGG ROLL

You: spring.

You: there better be shrimp

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

dinner was funny

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: heyya

Stranger: hey

You: when i was a little tadpol my mother said to me that bears tasted like the hind parts of a Corvette

You: and then she said

You: ALVIN

You: STOP EATING MY TOOTHPICK COLLECTION

You: ITS FROM CHINA

You: and i was like

You: no mom

You: no.

You: its wasnt a toothpick collection

You: it was dad

You: NICE ONE

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

emocorn attack

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hiyya

Stranger: Sup

You: tell me something strange about yourself

Stranger: I am a rhinoceros

Stranger: Thats pretty strange right?

You: I'm a unicorn! Let's be friends.

Stranger: Fuck off. Rhinos need no friends.

You: Hey, watch it, I'll sparkle all over your ass.

Stranger: (Beneath my cold exterior I just want to be loved)

Stranger: You're a unicorn not a vampire.

You: I'm a rainbow fuckin unicorn and I can do as I damn please.

Stranger: NIGGA WHAT?

You: YOU HEARD ME

You: RHINO BITCH

Stranger: UNICORN HO

You: OMG I'M SORRY I LOVE YOU

You: I DIDN'T MEAN TO ARGUE

Stranger: BABY ITS OKAY I LOVE YOU TOO

Stranger: LETS MAKE UP

Stranger: Passionately

You: Let us kiss with tongues!

Stranger: NO

Stranger: Lets kiss

Stranger: With our horns!

Stranger: Lets touch horns

You: What, feeling horny?

Stranger: Badum tsss

billy collins be jealous

M K F

There once was a paper for Zadeh
I didn't want to do it, but gotta.
I'm in Lusty all night,
motivated by fright, ...See More

2 hours ago

RK

<33333

2 hours ago

M M

There was once a paper for Dawson;
I thought it'd be fuckin' awesome.
But I went online
and got really behind:
I'll strangle myself with my bra soon.

about an hour ago · Delete

RK

Food is ordered!

about an hour ago

MKF

there once was a suicide in lusty
the person was very busty
her mind went loose
her bra was a noose
and now her body is nothing but dusty

48 minutes ago

RK

I want to do Judas.

44 minutes ago

MM

There was once an exam for Truitt
I wasn't sure how I would get through it
but i have until nine
until i run out of time
And then we'll see if I blew it.

44 minutes ago · Delete

RK

Oxytocin modulates unconditioned fear response in lactating dams.

36 minutes ago

MKF

My work has been ot very fab
my last paper will be characterized as drab.
I still have an exam
if I fail it I i'm damned,
and will be stuck retaking my fucking lab....See More

32 minutes ago

RK

Ra, Ra-ah-ah-ah! Roma, Ro-ma-ma!

26 minutes ago

MM

I too had a final for TZ
the length of it didn't please me
it took 3 whole days
now i'm fucked in 10 ways
zadeh, only a 4.0 will appease me

21 minutes ago · Delete

RK

Mother Teresa called; she hates you.

20 minutes ago

MKF

Here is my missive to Professor Travis,
On my paper praise you should lavish.
the book in unread,
and my mind is all dead
So I'm sacrificing something calvish.

10 minutes ago

RK

The bathroom smells like beer.

9 minutes ago

MM

I hate writing about this religion
I am using a bullshit/fact pidgin
but i'll give it to you
then it's your problem too
guess i won't have to send it by pigeon

6 minutes ago · Delete

RK

light + 6CO2 + 12H20 --> C6H12O6 + 6O2 + 6H20

3 minutes ago

MKF

We're writing on a different traditions,
The stories have different renditions,
But I'm in the same boat,
So I sadly can't gloat
maybe its' our predispositions?

23 seconds ago